Friday, April 14, 2006

Long time.

Its been a long time since i've posted a post. Or should i say lettered a post? It's also been a long time since i've posted a letter. So its been a long time since i've written anything. I've been feeling this urge to write for long now. Its turning into a sort of catharsis for me. Instead of writing a full-fledged article here i've been writing my ideas and stubborn opinions on status messages, orkut 'about me's and what not! Lot of things have been happening around the world i gather from people. I've stopped reading the newspaper. Somehow, I am happier living this sort of an ignorant and limited life. Ignorance is indeed bliss! I gather some famous Kannada actor's died and its causing much turbulence in the otherwise peaceful Karnataka. I am reminded of this dialogue of Sunil Dutt in Munna Bhai MBBS where he prevents a crowd from beating to death a pick-pocket who tries his hand on him and says something to this effect: This is the Indian janata. Each one has a ton of worries on his head. Some fellow's fought with his wife, someone with his boss......" Though i don't think all the Indians have been fighting with someone or the other, on the whole, the masses, being so innumberable, are always in surfeit;wherever;whenver; and hence, they are just waiting to release all the tensions that build up from the friction implicit to every interpersonal interaction. The slightest excuse is enough for them to break loose. This time its an actor's death. It might just as well have been the eve-teasing of some girl, some capitalist exploitation, some political comment, or just a lucky day to throw stones at people. I've stopped trying to understand them and i am more relaxed that way. But i've also stopped trying to understand most people in general. People are a wiser lot today. They are conscious of the cul-de-sacs to conversation. There can be no debate, no discussion. The moment they see that simple, concrete rational arguments are losing out they resort to these lethal weapons like, "What is good and what is bad?" "Why should anything have any purspose?" and easily lead you to a nowhere. Yair well they have a point. There is no point in asking too many questions and giving too much importance to issues. Its seems best to be indifferent. Indeed, even wise elder people seem to be advocating indifference. Half the intake of IITM might be based on reservation but none of the faculty or administration is ruffling any feathers about it. Okay, so i'll play along. I'm passing out. Why should i care? The administration has also spent several white elephants' worth on setting up a central dining facility plump in the middle of nowhere, where 3000 people should gather,some like me after half a kilometre's walk, at 4 in the 40Celsius Chennai heat just to drink a glass of evening tea. Well, don't drink your tea if you are so lazy they'll say i am sure. After all, each one in the upper rungs is bound to have got a cut in such a huge project. It never had any students' approval and it still doesn't. Isn't the facility meant for the students? Not really, its a fund for childrens' education. The profs' children. I am just being a hopeless cynic eh? Well, it isn't baseless cynicism. I have seen the red-tape and bureaucracy first hand when i had a tiff with the assistant registrar and Dean Academics over issue of transcipts at prices that would fetch me enough toilet paper to wrap the sun! Anyways, I'm passing out! I also notice that the campus is particularly unclean now. Students are as responsible as administration for this. Concrete, cement and sand for about a 100metres off the road on either side of it. Sand covering most roads. Jutting cement projections formed from layers actually meant to be at the road level covering pot-holes. Coffee cups, juice cups, biscuit wrappers, chocolate covers, plastics of all sort. Yair well, I'm passing out! The stray dog population is increasing. That's bad for the deers. And i'm passing out!

I learnt in a humanities class that it is William James who coined the phrase 'stream-of-consciousnes', the title of my blog. Well, thank you James. I haven't read of any his works but i've read his brother's famous 'The American'. Its a pretty interesting book portraying the great American dream in this stereotypical American of the 50s. I don't remember the details of the story. It was essentially a love story. I remember it had splendid dialogues.

My hostel nite got over recently. It was interesting event. It highlighted the little quirks of people and made me more aware of what i'll miss. I also realised how I am an outcast of sorts with no identity with any wing. Not that i'm saying it seeking pity. It has its own good i suppose. For instance, i may not become as emotional when i pass out,as many of the others will. I wonder how it is that booze makes people emotional. I guess it helps them loose inhibition! I have this friend who blogs just to read her own thoughts and straighten things out for herself. I greatly respect that. I'd like to sign off in the style of seven year old Helen Keller saying, "I'm tired today I did write what was on my mind I will write soon. Good-by" I respect Helen Keller.

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