I am being scorned at by my disillusioned readers after my previous post so i decided to write this post before they completely give up on me. Trust me friends, it was the best way to find out how many people actually read my posts. I realised the count was far more than i had ever anticipated. Exit poll. I hope to undo the suffering caused by the previous post but i don't intend to raise my intellectual standards for the present.
I nearly died yesterday. I was in the glass capsule lift of GRT and as we came from the 4th floor to the ground floor i could view the lounge through the back side, as i fell steadily, and realised this is what commiting suicide must be like, only faster! Well, so i wasn't really going to die. It was just a near-death experience.
I nearly collapsed drunk yesterday. We were half-way through the buffet when my friend urged me to taste the complimentary beer they were giving. I decided to give it a shot and had a mouthful. Nothing happened and the thing tasted like cough syrup gone sour so I took no more. I stuffed myself like a python and was so full by the end of the buffet that i might have collapsed under my own weight. So i wasn't really going to collapse drunk. I tasted some beer and i ate a little excess. It was a near drunken collapse.
I nearly died a second time yesterday. I was thus overloaded and continued sane and jolly conversation when my friends strangely decided i had cracked too many P(est)Js and threatened to give bumps. Considering i could feel the food wobble in my stomach when i laughed, i knew i'd kick the bucket if they kicked me. We were in the auto when they made this decision and i escaped by telling them that i was actually getting 'auto bumps' and so no manual effort was required. Phew!
If i'm still alive after this post, i promise to write a nice one the next time. I promise i'll give every reader a share of my property. Let me finish my will. Then you can shoot me. Till then.....