Friday, January 12, 2007

A rhyme.

I'm not sure if this qualifies as poetry. In fact, i'm not sure what qualifies as poetry. To be on the safer side, let's just call it rhyme, though, if you are a nursery kid, i wouldn't recommend this to you:

I watched with awkward eyes
the grey that suffused the skies
in fear of gloating Gloom
i ran from my rueful room

i'm caught by the ravaging rain
which seeps into my brain
and plays a melancholy refrain
oh where can i seek refuge from pain?


vibin said...

No comments :D

Anonymous most improbably said...

horribly good? :D

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

@Vibin: Dei could've spared yourself the trouble of writing those two words for the meaning would still have been the same as it is now :)

@anonymous most improbably:

Identity please?

Maya said...

Hi K., although not happy about the "pain" expressed. Good to see u trying your hand at poetry.

critic said...

how abt this?
I watched with running nose
in the sky many crows
after that gloating like a loon
I ran to my room!

I am caught by a rapacious villain
who pours coffee into my brain
while I sing him a melancholy refrain
exactly! your "song" is such a pain!

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...


Thank you. Criticism is welcomed with the same gratitude as praise. But what exactly is it that you find so painful as to prompt you to take the effort of describing it in amateur poetry?

p.s: I do not usually respond to anonymous comments but since this was a rare criticism i thought i should encourage you to visit more often. Please note however that there will be no more response if you choose to remain anonymous. Of course, you could choose a different identity each time. If you can take the pains to write poetry for me, you can do that too i'm sure ;)