A lesson in Hyderabadi Hindi

So there is this Bangalore girl who works in my building. She thinks I am a Tamizh, which I sort of am, but she also thinks I am from Chennai because she knows I did my undergraduate there. So she thinks I don't know anything except tamil and English. The other day, I was flexing my arm in the corridor, just to relieve stiffness and not because I'd hurt myself. But she looked concerned.

She: "kya uvaacha?"
Me: "What did you just say???"
She: "kya uvaacha?"
Me: "What language is that?" (politely)

I was seeking clarification. I was aware that 'uvaacha' in sanskrit means 'said' but the combination of words baffled me. She gave me a smug smile.

She: "Its Hyderabadi indi!"
Me: "Oh REALLY?"
She: "Yes, yes. It means 'what happened?'"
Me: "Well, I've never heard of such a thing."
She: "Of course you wouldn't know! They speak a different Hindi in Hyderabad. When I was in PSU(she did her masters there) I had many Hyderabadi friends!"
Me: "Perhaps you've heard them saying something along the following lines: 'aise-ich hua'?"
She: "Ah, yes!"

I just completely burst out laughing my guts out at this point. She assumed adding 'ch' at random locations was what made the 'indi' hyderabadi! :) (Little she did know that I had grown up playing gully cricket with the 'basti' kids in my neighbourhood in Hyderabad :)....)

Human blinkers

I am somewhat surprised and greatly annoyed that people haven't come up with human blinkers yet. Most home-lighting in the average middle-class homes that I have had the opportunity of being in have tubelights or incandescents lamps with highly divergent light. So they are a terrible pain to the eyes while reading. There is too much directionality to the light and that produces a lot of localised glare that I find very annoying. Of course, I would prefer it if the human blinkers weren't just like horse blinkers. What I prefer is something more like a hollow viewmaster with a head strap. So entrepreneurs, pliss to lissen! (If you want a grander idea and all, try this)

Honest scrape

“This award is bestowed upon a fellow blogger whose blog’s content or design is, in the giver’s opinion, brilliant.When accepting this auspicious award, you must write a post bragging about it, including the name of the misguided soul who thinks you deserve such acclaim, and link back to the said person so everyone knows she/he is real. Choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design. Or improvise by including bloggers who have no idea who you are because you don’t have seven friends. Show the seven random victims’ names and links and leave a harassing comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog. Well, there’s no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon. List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on!”

So Mathew thinks the blog's content is brilliant and all (the design certainly hasn't been changed one bit from what blogger provided me). Thanks Mathew! I take a bow! Then an arrow! I aim, and shoot him with it. For he has put me in spot of bother. It is very hard for me to write about myself. I don't I have any very clear notion of what I'm like. But here's my list:

1) I think I have little fear of money today. Since I started earning, which was about 3 years ago when I started my PhD, I have made a deliberate effort to overcome fear of money. I have splurged in a number of ways to overcome all inhibition to spending money and to avoid the rut of the saving mind-set. This has liberated me considerably from over-valuing money. Now I see it completely as a means to desired ends. I find that this has been a source of much happiness and freedom to me.

2) That said, I also like to keep a minimalist lifestyle. Hence, most of my splurging has been on non-durable goods and services. I have not splurged on acquiring material possessions. To illustrate, I still wear in the US my T-shirts from my school days and shirts that my grand-dad used to wear decades ago. Even in the future, I do not see myself acquiring a big home or a big car or other such possessions off my own desire. I am not interested. In fact, I find them a burden.

3) I am atheist. I am actually an agnostic in that I can't disprove the existence of god. However, I am reluctant to say this because too many believers are ignorant of Russell's teapot, and keep trying to prove the existence of god through a gap-filling exercise in one's arguments, rather than by making a proper proof for god's existence.

4) I am a sports addict. I absolutely LOVE playing sports. With all modesty, I am reasonably good at volleyball, table tennis, basketball and cricket. I am currently actively looking to improve at raquetball.

5) I try to be objective in thought. I certainly wish to be.

6) I used to be a terribly ill-tempered kid. In particular, I have troubled my brother, and hence my mother, a lot. But I have turned out alright. I rarely lose my temper any more. And my family would agree.

7) I love my family very much. However, if you were ever to meet us, you would never get that impression because we have almost no explicit show of affection.

8) I honestly think I am happier in the present than in the past, and that conscious effort goes a long way in helping to keep one happy. I see myself only getting happier in the future.

9) I don't feel a sense of belonging with any one community in my country. I was born in Kerala, brought up in Hyderabad, and speak a vague palakkad iyer-ish tamizh at home. So although I know malayalam, tamil, telugu and Hindi, I don't ever feel a sense of belonging with any one community wholly.

10) I make acquaintances easily but I don't make friends easily. The former because of my familiarity with so many regions and languages(including English of course), and the fact that I am curious about people. The latter because most Indian boys/men, I've noticed, move in regional groups, and since I am not properly a part of any one, I get left out or feel odd. Secondly, I might be too judgemental for my own good. That makes it very hard for an individual to jump the acquaintance/friend barrier.

I don't really think there are 7 people I know who read this blog regularly. So I tag:
Gounder Brownie
Rukmani Ram
Mukta
Anant
Parikshith
Amitabha
You reading this line.

Phew!

Demo-crazy

I am certain democracy isn't the best form of governance for a nation, in terms of efficacy. But pics like this make me think it IS the most lovable form of government :)




Source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/8014949.stm

Manmohan Sick!

I seriously feel like puking after reading that Manmohan Singh took Obama's autograph after the G20 summit! YUCK! The rest of the article makes for an interesting read too.

Uncular

I remember that either one or both of Bush and McCain used to say 'nucular weapons'. But having little respect for either I thought it was an individual idio(cy)syncrasy. However, today I witnessed an interview of former Joint Chief of Staffs Richard Myers on the Charlie Rose show and even he said 'nucular' weapons! I was a little taken aback by this and after some thought I finally managed to convince myself that given the informal nature of American communications even at official levels, they must be very used to saying 'nuke's. So out of that habit they just say 'nukular' like tubular or granular and mean by 'nukular weapons' 'nuke-like weapons' or WMDs. Finally, things are cular!

Why not?

Why is it south/north-west/east and not west/east-south/north?

******************************************************************************

In general, there is a time lag between the institution of an economic policy and its consequences being reflected in the economy. The reasons could be a combination of factors like market inertia, time for enforcing of the policy measures, time for the ensuing changes to become significant etc: If the elections happen at a spacing that is equal to the lag, the ratio of bad governments to good governments for the nation would be 2 to 1 given a voting populace whose default state is anti-incumbent and a two party system. This is because when we have a good government that implements beneficial economic policies, the changes will only be seen when the next government(the bad one) is voted in to power. Now when the bad government is in power, it will benefit in its first term from the previous government's good policies, although it would be sowing the seeds for disaster with its own economic policies. So it will be re-elected by the public, and the public will find a poor performance in its second term due to the bad policies of the first term. Now the bad government will be voted out and we have the good government back in again, but during their governance the economy will reflect the bad policies of the previous government and hence they get voted out, and this cycle repeats! So as you can see, if the spacing between elections is not calculated to be over twice the lag between the institution of an economic policy and its impact reflecting in the economy(in a theoretical world this can be quantified), we'll have a greater period of bad governance than good given a two party system and a populace that is anti-incumbent. I didn't really pull this out of a hat. What prompted all this thought was the possibilities in the present system. India, it has been observed, is invariably anti-incumbent. Also, at present, while there is no single party majority, there is essentially a two-party or to be more precise a two-coalition system(viz the UPA and the NDA). The UPA has been shining in the limelight of the average educated public's eyes largely because of brilliant and active liberalisation policies pursued by the NDA government when it was in power. So now you see what got me thinking about this whole business!

Just when I thought I couldn't decide on my vote!

I see this. But I don't believe it! That seals it for me. There is no way anyone in praise of the terrible fiasco that was the attempted socialism of the Indhira Gandhi days can be trusted with my country in today's globalised world when India is finally developing thanks largely to hard fought and won efforts at liberalisation. India is still nursing the sore wounds of the Indira Gandhi regime and here we have her progeny praising that same nationalisation debacle that stalled the liberalised regime of the 1950s and even the relatively liberal regime of the early 1960s and finally dealt death blows to private and foreign investment in India! And to top it all, I don't quite understand why Sonia speaks of Indhira's move to nationalisation as if it was calculated to benefit the nation. Here is what the above article quotes her as saying:
"Every passing day bears out the wisdom of that decision. Public sector financial institutions have given our economy the stability and resilience we are now witnessing in the face of the economic slowdown,” Gandhi told a conference in New Delhi on Friday morning.

But here's the truth(Source: India - The Emerging Giant, Arvind Panagariya p.53):
In his memoir, I. G. Patel (2002, p. 135), who served as the economic secretary in the Finance Ministry at the time the banks were nationalized offers an interesting account of the decision-making process:
It was, I think, later in July 1969 that I was sent for once again. No one else was present. Without any fanfare, she asked me whether banking was under my charge. On my telling her it was, she simply said, “For political reasons, it has been decided to nationalize the banks. You have to prepare within 24 hours the bill, a not for the Cabinet and a speech for me to make to the nation on the radio tomorrow evening. Can you do it and make sure there is no leak?” There was no pretence that this was not a political decision, and the message was clear that no argument from me was required. I assured her that we will keep to the timetable and keep the secret. I summoned courage, however, to make two suggestions: to leave the foreign banks alone, and nationalize only the major ones. The former was intended to avoid a sharp reaction abroad; and the latter because the purpose would be served by taking only the major banks and leaving the scores of small banks alone. She immediately agreed and added that she could trust the details to me.

That political decision was in reference to a power struggle between I Gandhi and the Syndicate(Morarji Desai et al).

p.s: I am not sure how much influence Sonia might exert over Manmohan's decisions or the finance and commerce minsters' portfolios but it is a risk I'm unwilling to take.

Its a good thing I don't have to vote

The BJP said it was also committed to building a temple to Hindu god Ram in the northern town of Ayodhya.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7980656.stm
So much for secular government! :(

I am utterly confounded as to whom to vote for! (if I were in the country that is)

A lesson before voting

If history is any lesson on the relationship between academic qualification and efficient political leadership/management in India then Shashi Tharoor must definitely not be voted in at Thiruvananthapuram. An example that comes to mind on the inverse relationship that exists between academic qualification and management skills is the ridiculously well-qualified yet utterly disappointing manager of our nation, our prime minister, Dr. Manmohan Singh. This is a good article which highlights the poor performance of the UPA government. However, it still doesn't mention the increasing budget deficit that has been a Manmohan Singh speciality since he's taken on the role of PM. This article predicts a staggering fiscal deficit that is 6.4% of GDP. I wished to highlight these facts about our performance during Manmohan Singh's leadership because I was shocked to find how ignorant some of these educated bloggers are, and how empty of facts their arguments are for bringing a party back into power(It turns out the so called arguments he has provided too are unreferenced and copy-pasted from here. Of course that Shashi Tharoor made these arguments doesn't impress me any further. It only detracts from his value) Coming back to what I intended to say, although Shashi Tharoor should not be voted in based on history, I am more inclined to leave history aside because ultimately it is common sense that educated leaders are more capable leaders than illiterate ones and I do want to encourage educated men to participate in the administration of our country. So with this end in mind I would vote for Shashi Tharoor. His intentions are sincere, but so were Manmohan's. So one must hope that if he is voted into power, he can do a better job with the implementation.Among other such cheerful developments, the charming JPN has decided that politics cannot be cleansed of corruption by sitting outside of it. Yay!

Advani advocates

Today Advani challenged Manmohan to a live TV debate a la US presidential elections. While this challenge was blurted out more in fury at the criticism by Manmohan Singh of his essentially destructive presence in Indian politics, the suggestion in itself is a one I welcome and even hope will be realised this year. Based on the US TV presidential debates it is clearl to me that debates will not be any indication of a party or individual's capacity. All things popular are ultimately about the right rhetoric. If the masses are educated, then the rhetoric must come with a generous dose of teary-eyed elocution from a man with a university degree to appeal to the educated man's own sense of being intellectual. Anyhow, I still welcome live TV debate because a democracy is ultimately a popular system of governance and it is essential to keep the populace in the loop, to borrow an americanism. Although Indians will refuse to buy or be ignorant of condoms, they are all aware of and will save up to buy a TV. The reach of this device is incredible, and I think it is a powerful means for both sides to spread the rhetoric. Although there are TV ads, a 'special occasion' can attract the attention of a significantly greater audience than regular annoying ads. Take the example of the Filmfare awards in India or the Oscars. Like these events, with sufficient media propaganda, we can have the whole nation engaged in watching the event. The US media propaganda for instance has been so successful that people not just in US but all over the world watch the two noise-makers make noise in the noise-making event. And so, the live debate can form an important platform for rhetoric and get the people involved. This is critical. Besides, because it does have the title of a debate. Although the individuals contesting can say just about anything they want about the future, the past has to be cited(even if unverified) and the overall appearance has to be of a rational process of dialogue, to a reasonable extent. The benefit that this could have is to get the lesser educated masses thinking of the democractic process along rational lines instead of personal sops. Of course, it is a far fetched hope that one debate can make our uneducated masses see reason. But that is not what I expect. A human being has an instinctive capacity for reasoning, however primitive it may be. When he is bombarded for an hour or so with dialogue and debate on policies and reforms and such like instead of promises of sarees and lungis, I expect somewhere in that primitive brain a blob will shift uneasily and wake from its slumber. It will sense something wrong and wonder. That much is enough.

Thought for the day

I don't know what these Americans are complaining about. They have a baby boom generation. We have a baby boom nation!

Question for the day

In India, 18 is the legal age for drinking and driving. True or False?

Some thoughts for the day

Chili is hot.

When I say something clever and imaginative on chat and I get a reply 'Quel artist!', do I read it as good French or bad English?

Who are those people all over India who call up various dial-in shows (like Pepsi Uma)? Do they really exist?

What do you do with half a toilet?

An ad I found in the mallu ASU orkut community:
Soumya
FEMALE ROOMMATE NEEDED FROM MAY 2009
Hello Everybody,

We are four Indian girls, looking for another Indian girl to replace one of us, (preferably vegetarian, but its fine if not) from May 2009.

Our house is on the Apache and Terrace Intersection. It is a neat, well maintained townhouse, in a safe and hospitable community. It is a 2 bedroom 1.5 bathroom house, with a nice patio. It is unfurnished, but we have some furniture and appliances that are sufficient (dining table, chairs, book-shelf, rice cooker, blender etc.). The kitchen is provided with Microwave oven, Refrigerator, Burner, Dishwasher, etc.

Inertia

Usually phones in the US are designed such that it is possible to dial the emergency services even if the keypad is locked(I am talking about non-flip phones). For some reason, almost any two digits pressed on my keypad followed by the dial button calls the emergency services, apart from the usual 911 dial. As a consequence, I have rung inadvertently for 911(08 dial has been the most common random combination I've achieved!) at least 20 times (counting) in the past 3 years. I've now had this T-mobile service for well over its contract period and I AM eligible to change to a new, better phone for free! Yet, I remain in this same unperturbed state out of sheer inertia to call up t-mobile and request a new phone. It is a good thing the police department is also expected to serve shepherds!

Cold reality

Although I've read numerous articles on the impacts of the recession, most of those are by journalists for big newspapers. As I read the journalist's well-scripted and poignant story of suffering, I can't help but notice the ads flashing on the sides of the article making me wonder how much profit my sympathy brings into their coffers. Nothing hits me so painfully as a brutally simple and unembellished rendering of one's suffering without seeking an ounce of pity. This is a letter written by a resident of Tempe to the editor that came in today's 'The State Press', the free on-campus daily:

EFFECTS OF A RECESSION

My world came crashing down last August when my housemate lost her job at ASU I depended on her income to keep my canine family and me afloat.

In 1994, an impaired driver plowed into me as I walked my dogs. The impact sent me hurling through the air, and I landed in a ditch, bruised bloodied and battered. Lingering injuries from brain trauma, seizure disorder and other broken bones left me disabled. I'd rather work than collect disability, but that's just not possible.

A letter arrived a few days ago telling my house-mate her unemployment benefits were exhausted. In this grim economy, a doctorate from Harvard might be useful in India, but it does nothing here.

We both scrounge for aluminum cans in the garbage. It is shameful and degrading, especially when neighbours see us, but it's a source of income. I started grocery shopping in the dollar store. The bank won't refinance the house because she has no job and my income isn't enough. Unless there's a miracle soon, our home will be added to the glut of foreclosures in Arizona.

We are both in our mid-50s. At the time my house-mate was fired, she was under treatment for heart and spinal cord disease and major depression. She has no health insurance and no way to pay for medicine.

The prospect of losing our home, our dogs and everything we own is terrifying, but it's likely to happen. We could panhandle, but we are too proud to beg. The bank may take our home. ASU took her job, but no one can take away our dignity. There are thousands of people facing foreclosure, job loss, surrender of their beloved pets, and there is no end in sight to the misery.

While students at ASU may protest budget cuts, the real conern should be what happens when you graduate. You, too, may end up like me. I played by the rules my entire life. I never thought that homelessness would be right around the corner.

Debra J. White
Tempe resident

The last two lines kill me.

This is HILARIOUS!

Dear stupid Obama maniacs of India

This is why it is important for you to read matters of foreign and economic policy of a party before you cry hoarse in jubilation and run around proclaiming the goodness of god with tears in your eyes over a pretty-faced glorious-sounding man. It was part of the Democrat policy all along to reduce outsourcing in order to improve local employment.

P.S: The theory that outsourcing is affecting local employment rates is a myth. But since nobody seems to care to know facts, I'll not waste my time.

P.P.S: That protectionism doesn't help the US cause is not a myth!

Alcohol abuse and trouble fingering

It is not so much that I abuse alcohol to harm myself as it is that I abuse alcohol to harm alcohol itself.

It is also not so much that I am inexperienced at fingering as it is that I am having trouble of late.

Let me explain. In the India stores in my neighbourhood you get this wonderful product called 'mango pulp' in a can(Yes, that's the beginning!). If one adds yoghurt and some water to some of this pulp and blends it all together it makes a most delicious mango lassi! I bought one such can yesterday. There are two stores close by and I usually get all my desi products only from one of them because the other is reputed to have outdated stuff often. But this latter store is open longer. So at the sunset hour that I went, only the latter store was open. I searched the store and didn't find this mango pulp can. So I asked the store owner if they had any, in case I overlooked, and he pulled one lone can out of some corner. Naturally, it was terribly old, and quite rusted too. But I figured the rust must only be on the outside and was a little uncomfortable at the thought of refusing to buy it when he took all the trouble to hunt one out for me. I bought it and took it home to make my lassi. The can had a large circular base. So in order to open the can fully, one has to crank the opener several turns. Now, there are three openers at my home, but all three are rusted. So it takes quite some effort to do all that cranking. So what I did, I opened a little and then thought I'd let my muscle power do the rest for me. Accordingly, I put the tip of my index and middle finger against the edge of the cut lid of the can and exert my muscle to try and rip the can open. Instead, I nearly rip my index finger against the sharp edge of the lid that was sticking out. Oddly enough, the edge was rusted. That wasn't good news. Now all this I did at around 6:15 pm in the evening. At 6:30 I had to go play sand volleyball. I didn't want to miss my dear volleyball so I did what I usually do when I have blood oozing out of my body. I poured some of my aftershave on the wound. It has alcohol which would temporarily do something to kill all the unwanted stuff looking to have an orgy on my wound. BUT, I cannot forgo volleyball. So I poured lots of aftershave and ran to the sand courts to play. I played for a good one hour and got the cut covered in a mixture of dried blood and sand and it remained that way for a good hour or so till the germs probably formed an army large enough to concur the world. I came back and washed my hands with running water and soap, and poured more aftershave on it. But today at work, it started hurting again when I tried to lift some piece of equipment which was heavier than I expected and ended up putting the cut against the edge of that equipment while trying to lift it. There are some little luxuries of being in an experimental science lab. There is bound to be alcohol, which a good solvent and is often used for cleaning stuff. So I went to pick up the usual ethyl alcohol squeeze tube and pour some of it on the wound. It stings of course. But that's a sign, hopefully, that it is screwing those germs! Unfortunately, today the ethyl alcohol squeeze tube was empty. So I took the isopropyl alcohol squeeze tube instead and poured it on the cut. My lab mate then put a band-aid on the cut and wound it up with some tape to keep it in place because it was more at the fingertip, which has a curvature to it. So far so good. But what I didn't tell you was that yesterday's mango pulp not only looked old on the outside, but also tasted a little odd. As I wasn't prepared to risk an upset stomach, I threw the can away and bought one from the other store today. Laziness prevailed again. I cut through half the circumference of the lid, which was more than I had done yesterday, but it still proved insufficient for my muscle power act. Same story, I cut a finger? No. There's a twist. I cut two! Two new ones. So now I had three fingers with cuts on them. Two bleeding. More aftershave. Call for volleyball comes. Irresistible urge. At the courts, I found that today's cuts were starting to bleed while fingering. (We Indians call the 'setting' fingering. Actually, that is how it used to be called in the US too, until the more perverted connotations took prevalence I believe.) So what I did, I pulled the extra tape off the band-aid and wound the tape directly on top of the cuts to stanch the flow of blood. I hope that adhesive contains harmless stuff. The odd shape of the fingertip and the fact that I was still trying to spike and finger the ball meant that the tape fell of in a few shots. Some great matches today. A good three hours in the sand courts. Good fun. But all three cuts were covered in a mixture of dried blood and sand. I do hope I don't suffer from Tetanus. It is a while since I've taken my last shot but I'm reluctant to go and get a shot. We'll wait and see?

Funny americans

So Obama arrived today in Arizona to show off his deceptive smile and dole out more hyperbole that the american public, and the world in general seems to be craving from this man. He is greeted by the mayor of Phoenix who gifts Shaquille O'Neal the basketball player's SHOE as a souvenir! The president proudly displays it for the cameras and then departs in his cavalcade. If all this isn't amusing enough, Shaquille O'Neal was born in New Jersey and played for the Los Angeles lakers for most of his basketball career and transferred to Phoenix only last year.

God Bless America.

Proof: http://www.azcentral.com/community/phoenix/articles/2009/02/17/20090217obamavisit0217-ON.html